i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
