were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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