He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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