you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
