Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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