I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
