I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Randomize
