I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
