The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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