This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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