Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize