Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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