I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
