Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Randomize
