it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
