Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
