There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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