Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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