its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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