You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
