yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
