I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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