Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
