The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
