My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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