Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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