Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Your penis caused this!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize