Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
