i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
