everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
