does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
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