North Korea, Best Korea!
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
