4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
