So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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