Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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