Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
