Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
