Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize