Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize