i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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