Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
