I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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