Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
