can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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