My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
