my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
