Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
