My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
