Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
