tell your sister to shave her snatch
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
false alarm, still single
Randomize
