Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
