Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
