dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
