Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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