it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
