I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
