Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
