I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
